


My Beloved Girl

by Hanalea_wolf1992



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Reylux - Freeform, Smut, What Have I Done, implied brief psychotic disorder, mentions of grave desecration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:32:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanalea_wolf1992/pseuds/Hanalea_wolf1992
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But if you leave may this dark night turn me into stone, to not feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Beloved Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Please pay attention to the tags.  
> This is basically the result of watching videos on YouTube while being drunk. The first time I watched this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txfEsWvFiCs I was about 12 y/o and it really made an impression. I found it again by chance a couple of weeks ago and the idea wouldn't leave me so here it is  
> This is angsty and kinda fucked up.  
> I'm sorry in advance.

Kylo crossed the cabin’s threshold cradling Rey in his arms, a brown leather duffel bag strapped across his shoulder. The place was dark and dusty, stale smelling for lack of use. 

He deposited his girlfriend’s still body on a worn leather armchair, pulling her hair back from her face tenderly, almost reverently. How he loved his Sunshine.

His phone ringed signaling another incoming message. It was from Armitage.

_Kylo. Please pick up, love. Please._

He was worried. Kylo hated doing this to his boyfriend, but he hadn't given him another choice. He didn’t understand, not yet.

“We’ll show him, Sunshine,” Kylo spoke softly, “He’ll come around, I promise.”

Silence.

Kylo padded toward the small bedroom, throwing a last glance at the girl, his bare feet making the old wooden floor creak. He changed from his muddy clothes and into a pair of black jeans and a gray sweatshirt.

The dark haired man sat on the bed, their bed, and took the small framed photo from the nightstand. It was taken the first time he brought his lovers to the cabin, on an old and rusty photo booth at the nearby small town. He still remembered how Rey had dragged him and Tage in, sitting on their laps, and making silly faces in front of the crappy old camera.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

He traced the framed picture with his fingertips and smiled, Rey’s cute little nose was scrunched adorably, her rosy lips pouting; Armitage was smiling adoringly at the girl, and Kylo remembered why he treasured the small photo so much, even if his ears looked too big sticking out from his raven locks, he was happy, he was in love and wanted to remember forever that somehow these amazing creatures loved him back.

He couldn’t let them go, not any of them. He knew Tage would understand, eventually. He loved their little ray of sunshine too. They wouldn´t lose her, nor their child, Kylo would make sure of that.

Kylo stood up and rubbed his face. It was time to make dinner, he didn’t want his little Sunshine to go hungry. He took the groceries from the duffel bag and carried them to the small kitchen.

“I hope you’re hungry, Sunshine,” he called out, “I’m making your favorite.”

He got a pot from the cabinet and filled it with water from the tap, turned on the electric stove and set the pot on to boil. 

Kylo glanced at the motionless figure of his girlfriend and reminisced, with a smile tugging at his lips, about the day he met her. He had gone to the nursery garden to replace his mother’s potted geraniums that he’d kicked and destroyed in a fit after fighting with his father for the millionth time.

_Sulking, the tall man carried the small potted plant to the register when a small body collided with him, almost making him drop the damned thing._

_“I’m so sorry!” a small, brown haired girl squeaked._

_“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” he barked._

_“I said I was sorry, asshole,” the slip of a girl countered._

_“Well aren’t you charming?” Kylo sneered._

_“Look who’s talking!” the girl spat furiously, “now move, asshole or I’ll make you.”_

_“You? Ha!” he snorted “You look like you weigh 30 pounds soaking wet, girl.”_

_“Asshole!” she screamed and hurled the small clay pot she was carrying, to his face. It grazed his cheek and fell to the floor, shattering._

_"Ow!" he whined and glared at her. Kylo stalked toward the girl menacingly and saw her eyes widen, but she stood her ground and glared defiantly right back. He stood inches from her and burst out laughing, almost falling down._

_“Have you gone mad?” the girl questioned, brows furrowed._

_He paid her no mind and continued guffawing, tears of mirth forming in his eyes._

_“You are fucking crazy, did you know that? I’m leaving.”_

_“No! Wait!” he called, sobering up._

_“What?” she hissed, eyeing him warily._

_“Would you…? I mean… Can I buy you lunch? As in… an apology?” He stuttered, suddenly feeling insecure, surely she would reject his offer. The girl’s expression of mistrust melted a bit, and to his surprise, she gave him a tentative smile._

_“You’re damn lucky I never say no to free food” her smile widened, and his heart did a flip-flop “I’ll wait outside, asshole” she called, already walking to the door._

He’d paid quickly for the broken pot, it was the least he could do since it was his fault she lost her temper, and hurried after her. (He forgot his mother’s geraniums and she had screamed at him when he returned empty handed, but it had been worthy.)

He took her to his favorite Italian place two blocks down, he’d never seen anyone scarf down two servings of Alfredo that fast. She was a remarkable creature, feisty, lively and her light burned so brightly that he had felt drawn to it, like a moth to a flame, like Icarus to the blazing sun.

The man was brought back from his reverie by the sound of the water boiling, he quickly added the spaghetti noodles and took another pot to heat the bottled sauce.

When the pasta was ready, he walked toward the small living room and picked Rey up from the armchair he’d left her. He recalled all the times he had carried her like that while she giggled endlessly, ordering him half-heartedly to put her down. Now she stayed silent, unmoving. He ignored the lump forming in his throat.

At their bedroom, Kylo placed her delicately on the bed and retrieved a dress from the duffel bag. It was a short, sleeveless, cream-colored dress with a multicolored butterfly pattern and a thin black waist belt, the same she had worn to their date with Tage at the park.

He smiled at the memory of that day, it was one of the most treasured moments of his life. Their relationship with Tage had had a rocky start almost four years ago. It had been mostly his fault, he had to admit.

He’d seen the sullen, red-haired man for the first time when he arrived to the homey Coffee Shop to pick up his girlfriend after her afternoon shift. He knew his Sunshine was attracted to the man, and at first, it filled him with pure jealousy, but that soon changed,

Kylo started to spend more time at the shop, he’d told himself it was because he didn’t trust the guy being alone with Rey. He made a habit of observing the stern man closely, and noticed how his appearance was always impeccable, clothes neat, not a strand of red hair out of place. He always smiled at Rey demurely, a small pink flush coloring his pale cheeks. Kylo even found endearing how he frowned at the paperwork he always brought with him, biting his silver pen absentmindedly.

Kylo realized then, that he had long stopped being angered at his girlfriend’s obvious attraction to the other man, not that he’d told her, and he didn’t need to, his little Sunshine could read him like no other.

After the weeks passed, they talked about the issue, Kylo admitted shyly what they both already knew, and agreed to act on their feelings toward Tage. Rey made a plan and invited the other man to dine with them at the same Italian place of their first date. 

Surprisingly for Kylo, Armitage had accepted their arrangement readily that night, but as time passed, the other man showed signs of discomfort and Kylo feared he was the reason. He was obviously enamored with the ginger but everything suggested his feelings weren’t reciprocated. He decided then that he would try to keep his distance from Tage, he was obviously more at ease with Rey, Kylo noted dejectedly, and he couldn’t blame him, his Sunshine was truly something else. Still, it hurt, he wanted to be able to openly show his growing affection for the other man without the fear of being rejected.

One day, Rey had returned giddy from her shift at the coffee house, she told him about her plans for a romantic date at the park for the three of them. She was convinced it would help the two men to get close. Kylo doubted it, but he had smiled wanly at her all the same, not wanting to dampen her excitement.

_That night, they walked along the cobblestone path, he carried the picnic basket and blanket in one hand, holding Rey’s with the other. She looked gorgeous with her short patterned dress and one of his leather jackets, breeze blowing her chestnut hair softly as she smiled cheerfully._

_He saw Armitage already waiting for them, wearing a blue navy sweater and black jeans, it was the first time he had seen him dressed so casual. It suited him. Rey released his hand immediately and sprinted toward the other man, flinging herself into his arms. He caught up with them and gave the ginger a hesitant smile, letting the basket down and spreading the blanket on the grass._

_Rey released Tage and plopped down on the blanket, opening the basket excitedly, she took out the sandwiches and pastries he packed, along with a bottle of sparkling apple cider. They followed her lead and sat down beside her._

_The evening, as Kylo found out later, did not go as he had expected, and after they ate, Armitage and he had finally connected without the usual awkwardness and reluctance that had marked their past interactions. He found himself opening out to the other man and even talked about his past and family, something he had only ever done with Rey._

_At the end of the night, Tage scooted close to him and kissed him, one hand buried in his hair and the other trailing up and down his thigh. He was stunned for a moment but then reciprocated his kiss passionately, caressing his smooth cheek while their Rey giggled and clapped delightedly._

He never thought he could love another as much as he loved his Sunshine, not until Tage.

Kylo sighed and pulled himself out of his memories. He lifted Rey’s body carefully, and divested her of the dirty white gown, then putting on the other dress and smoothing the creases. He grabbed a comb and brushed her chestnut mane gently, arranging it in her customary three-bun style.

He took her dainty feet in his hands and kissed them before putting them on her black ankle boots. He smiled, kissed her cold forehead and caressed her belly lovingly. _We’ll be together soon,_ he thought. _I won’t let them take you to the darkness again, you belong with us, both of you._

 He carried her back to the living room and sat her on the same armchair from earlier, while he went to the cabinets and took out the plates and cutlery to set the table.

“I hope Tage gets here soon, I don’t want our dinner to go cold,” he told her softly, as he arranged everything. She remained quiet.

"No sunshine, you shouldn't be mad at him, he loves you very much. He just needs some time," he continued. "He couldn't hear you like I did, you see. That's why we couldn't bring him with us, not yet, anyway."

“But don’t worry, it will be like it always was, us… and the baby,” he smiled wistfully. How happy he had been the first weeks after they found out they would become parents.

_Kylo closed the door of their 3 bedroom apartment quietly. He walked to the living room where he could hear Rey giggling and Armitage’s soft murmurs.|_

_They were sprawled on their red couch, Rey snuggled comfortably on the other man’s lap while he rubbed her belly lovingly. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight and stood contemplating his lovers silently for a while._

_Rey lifted her gaze as if sensing his presence, her eyes lighting up._

_“Kylo!” she squealed, wriggling herself from Armitage’s embrace and barreling towards him. He caught her, laughing as he spun her around, mindful of the small bump on her middle._

_“Hello, Sunshine,” he whispered, kissing her freckled nose gently. He felt a hand on his bicep and turned around to face his boyfriend._

_“Hi, you” Armitage murmured with a soft smile that he reserved only for them. Kylo leaned down and took Tage’s lips with his, tenderly, a pleasant shiver running down his spine. Just like the first time, all those years ago._

_“Want to see?” Rey asked excitedly, tugging at his hand. He nodded and let her drag him to their kitchen. She took a small picture from the fridge door and gave it to him, beaming. He looked at the black and white image and could make up a little head and part of his baby’s body. His baby. Their baby._

_A small lump formed in his throat and he couldn’t speak. He fell to his knees in front of Rey and buried his face on her belly. She laughed quietly and buried her hands in his dark tresses, sighing contently._

“He’s coming, Sunshine” he crooned, “Yes, I know you missed him. I did too.”

 

* * *

 

Armitage threw his phone forcefully against the passenger seat, he’d tried to call Kylo and it had gone straight to voicemail, again. He rubbed his face angrily, getting rid of the tears that had escaped his red-rimmed eyes.

_Please, Kylo. Please love, don't leave me too._

He shoud have known Kylo would do something rash, the loss of Rey had left him shattered… and the baby, their baby…

_It was past 6 when Armitage entered their apartment and was received by the sound of his lovers’ bickering. Sighing exasperatedly, he draped his jacket on the couch and followed the ruckus. He found them both in the baby room, surrounded by cardboard boxes. Rey was perched on a ladder and glaring down at Kylo, who was trying to pull her down._

_“Kylo, stop! I can do it by myself, “she hissed._

_“But…”_

_“The fact that I’m carrying a child doesn’t mean I’m useless.”_

_He noticed her stained denim overall and the opened paint can on the floor. There was a sheet thrown haphazardly over the settee, covering the bunch of stuffed animals that her friends Finn and Poe had already bought for their baby._

_He arched and eyebrow, “what are you doing?” he asked them._

_“Tage!” Rey chirped “I was painting the walls, but Kylo here,” she pointed at the other man, “is being an overprotective asshole.”_

_“Wha… I was just trying to help” Kylo spluttered indignantly._

_“He doesn’t want to let me do anything!” the girl complained, “I told you both yesterday that I wanted to paint the room green” she finished glaring pointedly at Kylo._

_“Yes… But I never thought…”_

_“That I would do it myself? Since when I have depended on anyone, Kylo Ren?”_

_“That’s enough you two?” Tage interrupted, "Kylo, if she wants to, let her do it.”_

_“But…”_

_“We’ll help, of course” he reassured the other man, rolling up his sleeves._

_Rey beamed and stuck out her tongue at Kylo._

_“Fine,” the other man grumbled sullenly._

_The ginger rolled his eyes, grabbed one of the paintbrushes and got on with the job._

_Afterward, they laid on the stained wooden floor breathless and content, dreaming of their future and their child._

_“It’s a girl!” Rey stated._

_“A boy,”Kylo countered._

_“It doesn’t matter either way,” retorted Armitage._

_“And she’ll be a pilot.”_

_“No, a dancer.”_

_“A lawyer.”_

_“A swimmer.”_

_“Musician.”_

_“Doctor.”_

_“Happy.”_

_They looked at the ceiling, silly grins plastered on their faces. Rey let out a blissful sigh. She took both his and Kylo’s hands and placed them on her still flat tummy. Her grin widened, paint-smudged nose scrunching adorably. Tage gazed at his other lover adoringly, their fingers brushing._

His hands clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. _They had so many plans_ , he thought, It wasn’t fair.

He needed to get to Kylo, he couldn’t lose him too. He hit the gas and lurched forward, tires making a screeching noise on the asphalt, and let himself be enveloped in memories of them.

_Armitage walked toward the small coffee shop, he glanced up at the green and orange sign before pushing the door open, the small bell tinged. He desperately needed a good dose of caffeine. He’d had another argument with his father and he could feel a headache forming._

_“Hi, welcome to Jakku,” a cheerful voice called._

_He lifted his gaze to return the girl's greeting and felt his breath catch. She was gorgeous, bright smile adorned with small, cute dimples. Her hair was arranged in a peculiar way, three buns holding her chestnut mane, a few wisps escaping and framing her beautiful face._

_The redhead realized he’d been staring when she arched a brow, friendly smile turning into a teasing smirk. He cleared his throat nervously, a pink blush flitted across his cheeks._

_“Um… Hello,” he stammered, “A large Americano, please.”_

_“Coming out!” the girl chirped._

_He returned the next day, and the next one, until it became a routine. The place was decent and quiet, he could focus on his paperwork, though sometimes he didn't do much besides stare at the beauty across from him. Despite the atrocious orange apron and cap, she always looked stunning, and the enticing little smiles she gave him every time he crossed the door never failed to make his heart flutter._

_He learned about her, she was 23, her name was Rey, her parents died when she was little and she had to take her of herself since, she loved plants and anything green._

_She learned about him too, he told her about his job and his father, how no matter what he accomplished, it was never enough. She didn’t pity him, and for that he was grateful, but her soft smile and the way she took his hand, thumb caressing his knuckles tenderly, comforted him all the same._

_He did not want to delude himself into thinking she might return his feelings, but at seeing the small blush that colored her freckled cheeks or how he felt her tremble slightly when their fingers brushed, well, he couldn’t help but wonder._

_One particular stressful Friday, he strode into the coffee shop later than usual, he still had work to finish, but his father was being more insufferable than ever, he needed a break and something to calm his already growing migraine. Rey welcomed him with a bright smile as she always did and he felt his bad mood lessening._

_Just then the little bell dinged and a hulking, dark-haired man entered and walked purposely toward Rey. The man grabbed her face and claimed her lips in a heated kiss that left them both panting slightly. Armitage looked down and couldn’t help but be ashamed. Of course she had a boyfriend, and here he was fantasizing about her, he felt so juvenile._

_Even after what transpired that day, Rey never treated him different, despite her boyfriend’s, who he learned was named Kylo, constant presence. That was, for him, the worst part. She still sat on his table, beaming at him while she talked about her day, the pretentious clients with difficult orders and how she had managed to save the dahlias on her windowsill from dying._

_All the while she acted as if the glowering giant, sitting on a stool at the counter, wasn't watching them keenly. Something he couldn't manage no matter how hard he tried. The ginger could feel the other man’s intense brown eyes on him the entire time and it sent shivers down his spine, but not from fear, not quite._

_He tried, multiple times, to stop himself from returning to Jakku but couldn't, he’d became so accustomed to Rey's company and even Kylo's, who always sat on the same stool, an iced sugary drink and some multicolored cookie in front of him. Rey would appear with his coffee and sit with him, chatting happily for what felt like hours._

_One day, however, their routine changed, and Rey approached the table with Kylo at her heels._

_"You don't mind if Kylo joins us today, do you?" Rey asked, biting her lip._

_“No… not at all,” he croaked. Rey beamed, sitting in front of him and giving Kylo a small, encouraging nod. The other man shuffled timidly, maneuvering his lanky form on the chair next to Armitage, he set his drink on the table and smiled at him shyly. He returned the smile, albeit hesitantly._

_He and Rey resumed their usual conversation, Kylo didn’t talk much, just watched them chiming in occasionally, his deep baritone made Armitage shudder, but in a pleasant manner, he realized._

As the days passed, He’d found himself staring at Kylo more often than not. He was very handsome, in a non-conventional way. Armitage was mesmerized by the beauty marks littering his pale, angular face; his aquiline nose, that others would have labeled as too big, but suited him perfectly; tempting full, pink lips, he fantasized about kissing. He was confused by his own feelings, even though he had been attracted to men before, it felt different, more intense, somehow.

He had long since stopped deluding himself into thinking any of them could return his affection, so it had come as a surprise when Rey invited him to have dinner with them. All the way to the restaurant, he kept repeating himself that it wasn’t a date at all, they were just being friendly.

_Rey and Kylo were already waiting for him when he arrived and he couldn’t help but feel anxious. He didn’t know what to expect._

_The evening passed very quickly, conversation flowing smoothly._ _They were eating dessert when Rey took his hand in both of hers and plainly asked him if he wanted to be their partner. He couldn’t believe she was being serious, he glanced at Kylo, who had been playing with his tiramisu leftovers, to gauge his reaction and the other man gave him a small, bashful smile and nodded silently. Armitage accepted the arrangement ecstatically, he couldn’t believe these two amazing beings wanted him._

The next days were delightful for Armitage, he got to spend as much time as he could with Rey and Kylo. He had dinner with them almost every night at their apartment, they went to the movies or for long walks in the city. Yet his joy was somehow soured by Kylo’s demeanor, he could feel the other man’s hesitation about their relationship and it hurt him. He’d come to care about Kylo as much as he did about Rey.

His insecurity got the better of him and he started to distance himself from the other man. Many times he had the intention to speak with Rey about his worries concerning his relationship with Kylo but never seemed to find the courage to do so.

Things changed when Rey planned a picnic at the park within walking distance from her and Kylo’s apartment, it had been very romantic. They talked for hours in the moonlight. He took delight in each other's company. Kylo had finally opened up to him. He talked about his tumultuous past and the strained relationship with his family.

_At the end of the evening, he leaned down and kissed Kylo ardently, letting out all his pent up need, and the other man had returned it eagerly. Pulling away from his mouth, Kylo caressed his jaw lovingly, swollen lips stretched into an adoring smile. He focused those intense brown eyes on him and he felt foolish to have ever seen other thing that deep longing in them._

_The three of them headed to the apartment quickly afterward. Rey took his hand as soon as the front door closed, and lead him silently to the bedroom, Kylo following close behind. That night was the first time they made love._

_They climbed on the bed and undressed each other as they kissed and touched. He pushed Rey into the mattress, parting her legs and positioned his cock at her entrance, pushing slowly into her, inch by inch, she cried out and ground her hips against his when he was all the way in._

_He exhaled shakily, closing his eyes at the feeling of her walls encompassing his member. Kylo settled behind him and he paused as he felt his fingers parting his ass cheeks and smearing a cold, slick substance in his hole._

_“Kylo… please," he whined._

_The other man withdrew his slickened fingers and nudged the tip of his cock against him, penetrating him slowly. He let out a gasp, closing his eyes when he felt him inside. Kylo muffled a grunt in his neck as he started to pound into him, driving him deeper into Rey._

_He turned his head to watch Kylo’s face as he thrusted into him, mouth slightly ajar and panting softly as he stared at their lover, eyes half-lidded. Armitage followed his gaze and… god, she was beautiful. She laid on the sheets, head thrown back in pleasure, eyes screwed shut and breast bouncing as his cock slammed into her._

_He broke his gaze from her body when Kylo started nibbling at his earlobe and dipped his head back and onto the other man's shoulder. Kylo buried his face in his neck, sighing softly as he squeezed his hips and started to pound him faster._

_He squeezed Rey’s hips and pushed harder into her, her eyes fluttered open at the change of pace, little cries of delight leaving her parted lips. She was close._

_“Fuck… Tage. Ah!”_

_Kylo grabbed one of Rey’s smooth legs, caressing it gingerly, and holding it at his waist, just as Armitage’s fingers flicked at her clit. That did it. She keened loudly, clutching the sheets tightly and arching her back off the bed, coming hard around his cock. He trusted once, twice and pulled out of her, coming on her stomach with a throaty whimper._

_He shivered and buried his hands on Kylo’s locks, he panted as Kylo caressed his chest soothingly, still slamming into his ass until his thrusts became erratic. With a final stroke, Kylo came inside him, groaning in the crook of his neck. They stayed like that, breathing heavily until Kylo pulled out and both of them collapsed on the bed next to Rey._

_Kylo grabbed his chin and pulled him into a deep kiss, tugging at his hair urgently. When he pulled away, he smiled at him mischievously, moving over him to capture Rey’s lips, kissing her just as deeply. His hand found her breast and squeezed softly, making her mewl into his mouth as she caressed his nape._

_They laid entangled and spent for a while until they managed to peel themselves off the sheets and saunter to the bathroom. Once they cleaned the cum and sweat from their bodies, Kylo lifted Rey by the waist and deposited her on the countertop and she let out a little giggle that transformed into a moan when he put his head between her legs, Armitage watched enthralled as she gripped Kylo’s dark tresses and keened while he licked and kissed her cunt. God, they were so beautiful and they were his._

_Afterward, Armitage held Rey’s sleeping form tightly against his chest, while Kylo hugged him from behind, his lips on his neck nipping gently until him too, drifted off._

He sighed. After all his years of loneliness, he thought he’d finally found happiness. He had two people who loved him unconditionally and a child on the way. A life worth living. But now it seemed all had crumbled in the blink of an eye, he lost the woman he loved and their unborn child, and now he could lose Kylo too. He would be alone again, empty.

A part of him was still in denial much like Kylo, it had been only two days ago that he’d kissed her senseless at their doorway, after she had berated him for almost forgetting his packed lunch.

 He recalled that precious moment when he embraced her, lost in the sweet taste of her lips. And just a few hours later, all had come crashing down.

_“Mr. Armitage Hux?”_

_“Speaking.”_

_“You appear as one of Rey Niima’s contacts, is that correct?”_

_“Yes, she’s my girlfriend… what is it?”_

_“I’m very sorry, sir.”_

_He can't quite remember how he got to the hospital, the memories are blurry. He just can recall that Kylo arrived immediately after him, frantic, red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked face. The tall man ran to him and grasped his face, wild-eyed._

_“Tell me it isn’t true Tage, please tell me!”_

_He drew the other man into his arms, trying to soothe him. He had to be strong, even when he felt torn up inside, Kylo needed him. His own grief would have to wait._

_A pale, dark-haired man in green scrubs approached them, he was not much younger than Kylo and himself. Armitage sat numbly, half listening to Doctor Mitaka explain how the paramedics hadn't been able to revive her, the impact had killed her immediately, he told them, she didn't even feel it, as if that somehow would make it better. It didn't. She was gone. Gone._

_He gripped Kylo’s hand, only half listening to the doctor prattle about talking to the police for information of the runaway driver. It doesn’t matter, Armitage thought, nothing can bring her back nor their baby._

_The doctor walked away mumbling condolences, leaving them alone. Kylo buried his face in his neck and sobbed, a heartbreaking, choked sound echoing down the empty hallway. He hugged him close, caressing his ebony locks, and let the tears fall._

_Gone._

 

* * *

 

After the funeral, they had returned to an empty home. Their room was dark and hushed as they sat on the bed side by side.

_Kylo placed a hand on his knee and leaned down to nip at his neck. He stayed unmoving as his lover struggled to unbutton his shirt._

_“Kylo…”_

_“No please, don’t say anything… just…I need you… please”_

_Armitage silenced him with an urgent kiss, and they started divesting of each other clothes, jackets, and shirts haphazardly thrown across the room. Kylo planted open mouthed kisses on his throat as he unbuckled his pants hastily._

_“Fuck me. Please, fuck me” Kylo begged and he hurried to comply. He knew what his lover needed. He needed it too._

_Immediately, they were both naked on the bed, Kylo on his hands and knees and Armitage behind him, cock buried deep and thrusting wildly. There was nothing sweet or tender about their lovemaking, it was frantic. Sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, harsh moans, and groans filled their room, desperately trying to drown the gaping silence, the grief._

_He pounded into Kylo relentlessly, again and again, gripping his hip and shoulder tight as the other man pleaded him to fuck him faster, harder. He threw his head back, screwing his eyes shut, willing himself just to feel and not think._

_After a few more thrusts, he felt Kylo shudder and climax around him. He slammed against him one last time before he let out a deep groan and came inside him. He pulled out and fell on the bed, gathering Kylo’s sweaty form and caressing his dark locks while he sobbed._

_After a few more thrusts, he felt Kylo shudder and climax around him. He slammed against him one last time before he let out a deep groan and came. He pulled out and fell on the bed, gathering Kylo’s sweaty form and caressing his dark locks while he sobbed._

_They fell asleep holding each other. The empty spot on their bed taunting them._

_Kylo was already gone when he woke up at dawn, the bed felt even colder with his absence. He padded to the kitchen and called his name softly, only to be met with silence._

_He found a slip of paper with Kylo’s messy handwriting on the table. Cold gripped his heart._

_They’re not lost to us yet. I’ll bring them back, my love. Trust me._

 

* * *

 

Night had fallen, and the moonlight streaked through the cabin’s Windows. Kylo placed Rey on the wooden chair, carefully arranging her body so she was seated upright. He kneeled beside her, brushing his lips on her forehead.

“I’ll be back in a minute, Sweetheart,” Kylo whispered, he stood up and walked toward the kitchen.

After a moment, he returned with a wine bottle and placed it on the table. He'd set three places, confident that Armitage would join them soon.

He kneeled again in front of her, taking her cold hand in his.

“Talk to me, Sunshine,” he begged. “Like you did before.”

But Rey ignored his pleading and remained heartbreakingly silent.

“Tage will come soon, I know so,” he continued, caressing her jaw “Don’t worry, my love, he won’t be angry with you. He loves you.”

“We can stay here, forever, just the three of us. We’ll bring the baby’s stuff and your flowers. Would you like that, Sunshine?” he asked her, he was growing desperate. Her silence pained him.  “We can even paint the room green, just like we did at home.”

 “He’ll come soon, Sweetheart,” he repeated softly, “and then we’ll be together.”

 

* * *

 

He slowed down, he could already see the cabin amidst the trees. Close behind him, he heard the police cars advancing, sirens blasting. He had to get to Kylo first.

Once he arrived at the clearing, he slammed on his brakes and got out of the car hurriedly. The sirens were getting closer.

He ran and burst through the cabin’s door, what he found almost broke him down. Kylo was on the floor, holding Rey’s body to his chest while he sobbed. Fat tears running down his pale cheeks.

He’d seen the desecrated grave, the empty coffin at the bottom, dirt and destroyed wreaths scattered around. But it's until now that it dawned on him, the horror of what Kylo had done.

“Kylo” he breathed out softly “Kylo, what did you do?”

“She doesn’t talk to me, Tage,” he whimpered “why is she’s not talking to me?”

Armitage approached the other man carefully, like one would do to a wounded animal. He crouched down in front of him and cupped his tear streaked cheek.

“Love… Kylo… please, you need…”

“No Tage, she’s here, she’s still here” Kylo babbled frantically “He came, Sunshine,” he told the motionless woman in his arms, “our Tage. Would you open your eyes for him? Please, sweetheart, open your eyes, show him.”

Just then, he became aware of the middle eyed officer standing at the door, eyes wide as he looked pointedly at Kylo and the body he was holding so dearly.

“Dear god,” the man muttered. Then his eyes fell on Armitage, almost pitiful.  “Sir,” the man addressed him, clearing her throat. “We have to take the body.”

He nodded numbly and watched the officer beckoning two men forward, they were dressed in some kind of white coverall and carried a thick, black plastic bag. He swallowed hard and slowly disentangled Kylo’s hands from Rey’s body, murmuring reassurances as the men approached.

Kylo’s body stiffened when realization dawned on him "No… don’t let them take her, please Tage!” he wailed, Armitage shushed him and clutched his head to him so he wouldn’t watch. He closed his eyes, unable to bear the sight either.

“She didn't like the dark, she hated it! Please Tage, she's our Sunshine, Please!" Kylo kept repeating frantically.

Armitage opened his eyes and watched them carry his Rey away, trying to soothe Kylo’s anguished cries. Holding him tightly, again, he let the tears fall.

Gone

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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